Neutrogena Wave....

[Note: This review is completely unsolicited. I have not been asked to review this product, nor am I receiving any compensation for doing so.]  All that being said, carry on to read up on Neutrogena Wave…

Okay, so i’m a little bit of a sucker for all things gizmo like.  So, really, it’s kinda surprising that i waited this long to try out the Neutrogena Wave.  I remember seeing ads for it a million years ago featuring that adorable little girl who likes to show her goodies in adult magazines while at the same time also working for Disney.  Most of those teeny bopper facial products annoy me, even more so – their advertisements… like the ad for Clean and Clear Morning Burst where the roommate is all like; “Whoah, you look like shit.  You should wash your face” and so our heroine spashes herself in the face with some orangy smelling soap and suddenly she’s “Waking up to love” and dancing around her living room in her jammies playfully wrestling, which turns into a tickle fight, which turns into them smelling each others hair, and leaning in as the tension mounts and…wait, i think that version only exists in my head.  sorry.  got off track there.

SO.

bubble gum pink!

I bought the N.Wave and brought it home, remarking that it’s bubble gum pink colour just about makes me barf with it’s girliness.  But lately i have been annoyed by these teeny tiny little zits splattered all across my forehead, and i thought maybe some deep cleaning action would help me.

On my first use, i was skeptical – it didn’t lather up the way the promo clearly says it does… i don’t know why i was surprised, my cheeseburgers from Burger King don’t look the same when i get them from the restaurant either.  Moving on.

I thought that maybe i just didn’t keep it under water long enough or give it a chance to lather up before i used it, but upon further inspection of the Neutrogena cleaning pad, there is a tiny little dollop of cleanser on the pad, so i used my finger to rub it around under the stream before trying again. much better.

The initial feeling of the cleaner had a familiar buzzy feeling to it…. waaaaaaitasecond….. coupled with the ‘ergonomic’ shape of the device…..fuuuuuck….this is totally a vibrator!  i did a quick rub on the lady bits (over the jammies) yup, totally a vibrator!

I was torn between the ingenious marketing brilliance – finding a way to make masturbating okay for young girls… and also wondering “Who are they kidding? As if it’s not totally a vibrator!” – it’s like when you buy one of those pocket rockets that’s marketed as a “Massager” (i’m totally doing the finger quotations there, just imagine it…are you imagining it?)

Can you picture this?:

Sally: “Mom,…so, uhm, will you buy me this, uhm, exfoliating facial cleanser? i totally need to, like, exfoliate more, …….like, every day…. so, uhm, will you buy it for me?”

later that day

Henry: “Wow, Martha, Sally sure has been cleaning her face a lot these days…  Don’t get me wrong…, her skin looks fabulous, but i wonder about the time she’s been spending in the bathroom…”
and Martha says: “You wanna start something?  Start with Bobby’s gym socks, and the why we never have any hand lotion.  i’m just glad she moved on from the electronic toothbrush”  (<– i kid you not, when i was selling the sex toys i read an article from head office that said that these days the electronic toothbrush is often a young person’s first ‘vibrating’ experience….yeah…think about THAT!)

apparently, the kit i bought is the OLD one, there’s already a second generation Wave with TWO SPEEDS!! It also comes in green and teal and blue.  i wish i knew that before i got my girly pink one.  sigh.
anyway – my skin WAS noticeably softer after the first use, just as the box said it would… i was amazed.  Like, it really exfoliates, baby.
On the next use i spread the dollop of cleanser around on the pad under the running water to see if that made for more foam.  I continued cleaning face, wondered if i wasn’t cleaning face long enough because there was still lots of foam in the pad, not so much on my face.  B-rad checked to box… “Safe for use in the shower…” In the shower, where a person is nude, in the water… the hot…steamy water… this thing is TOTALLY a vibrator.

Being the completely professional product researcher that i am….i took it into the shower… TO TEST THE FACE CLEANING PROPERTIES!! GAWD!!  …and also, to see how this thing would hold up downtown… nice.   although, i am seeing the wisdom of having two speeds now. hm.

"Honey, are you in there?" "...Just a MINUTE!! Don't Come IN!!!"

But i digress:

Overall, this little machine does a pretty good job of cleaning my face.  My skin did look brighter, but i’m not sure if that’s from the exfoliating or just the ‘afterglow’ ifyouknowwhatimean…wink…

As far as price point goes, it’s really not that bad.  It’s fairly affordable, and the start up kit comes with the cleaner and a box of cleanser pads.  Now, that’s where they’ll get you – with the cleaning pads.  But there are a few options there, cuz i found them for you, cuz i love you.  The first option – on the Neutragena websites, you can download a coupon for $2.00 off the foaming cleanser pads.  Canadians Click Here… Americans Click Here (Americans can get a $3.00 off the startup kit coupon, lucky ducks).  So, that should help.  BUT, if you’re even MORE Cheap Frugal – you can try this option, which i tested for you, cuz i love you.

First, find some cotton pads for face cleaning, like these:

highly cost effective

They will stick pretty well to the velcro-like surface of the Wave.  You can cut them in half, or trim them, or whatever if you’re that motivated.

Next, add your favourite face cleaner, like this:

Bitchez!

Then run the whole thing under some water and away you go!  You get the same exfoliating results for just pennies.  EL CHEAPO!  No need to thank me.   But could you imagine if that face cleaner actually existed?? Bitchez?  yeeeahh.

Now, Neutragena does offer different types of foaming cleansing pads, for Shine-Free Blemish-Free, Deep Clean Foaming, or Gentle Exfoliating – but if you really don’t care, or want to fall into their PROPAGANDA (haha) the Do-It-Yourself way is way cheaper.  Plus, if you’re like me and you’ve already purchased some mid/high priced facial cleaner – and you want to MERGE those two worlds, you can.

So – time for my arbitrary rating system:

• Colour – 2/5 (if i had known there were more colours when i bought the damn thing, it’d be higher, i’m not really into Barb!e pink.
• Exfoliating – 4/5 (Yeah, my skin glows)
• Cost – 3/5 (Fairly mid price point range, but the cleaning pads are costly, but you can totally find ways around that)
• Rub a Dub 4/5 (Not bad for a beginner’s vibe.  Personally, i prefer the Rock Chick, but that’s just me.  Gotta start somewhere, i guess)
• Disney Celebrities who pose Nude 1/1 (Top Marks!)
• Disney Celebrities who make me jealous by sleeping with Zac Efron 1/1 (<–Bitchez!)